Muslim turning into an athiest on a count of her s h i t ty life. what to do? 10 points?

Well i really don't know how to say this, i remember the days when i was a little girl learning everything about my deen and all of a sudden adulthood comes along and sucks the life out of me, i feel so angry, i hate my life, im suicidal, my health is bad, i smoke, drink, take drugs, and just recently turned into an athiest. I think i have heart disease too, im 21 and im fed up with life itself, i can't live like this anymore. Should i commit suicide what should i do.lifes just too hard to go on further.